All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
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So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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