Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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