Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
