just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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