i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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