If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The best revenge is premature balding
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize