Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
