I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
