Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
