I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
