I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
