you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
