Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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