just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
