FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
