how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
