I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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