I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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