apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
and you fell through a lawn chair
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
