Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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