Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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