Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
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I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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