omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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