a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize