I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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