At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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