you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
