we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
