There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
