Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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