im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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