We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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