Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
as a side note pls kill me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
