at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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