Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
