people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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