Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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