I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
