just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
