hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
