just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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