dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My hand turned me down
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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