Define "chronic" masturbator.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
