god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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