I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
