hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
