No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
