whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
