You just made me feel so damn special
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
