D3 body, D1 cock
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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