Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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