Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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