What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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