Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
