Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
