So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
