Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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