Plan B is the new Plan A
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
