I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
