just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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