Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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